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Crazy Headlines 3
Here I Go... Here I Go... Here I G-O!
"National Anthem Playing" music
"I won again... Cool!"
"WAHOO!"
"This is great"
"WAHEY!"
"Sorry don't know what's come over me"
"WEEEEEEE!"
"Oooops there I go again... oh what the heck well
why not?"
"YES YES YES!"
"Ha Ha Ha!"
"In Your Face!"
"Hmmm now I feel much better"
"What's that all about?"
"He just won the lottery"
"Cool! how much?"
"Just a dollar"
"?!"
"Yahoo!" Shumy
Choices Choices
"Ip... dip... your sh*t..."
All hell breaks loose in the Williams pits
"Faster! Faster! With any luck we'll get to the spare car before montoya!"
McCome and McGet it!
"Pizza!? Where?!"
or,
Norby farts and turns round for a sniff
"MMMMMmmmm Pepperoni"
Team Orders
"Wave Ruby, wave" Shumy
"I'll only wave if the team lets me" Ruby
McPick
"I'll finish picking my nose when this photographer goes away, meanwhile
just smile and look cool" mikka thinking
More Cake Anyone?... Anyone?!
"Here have some more cake... honest this time I washed my hands... it's
quite safe to eat... look Norby's eating it" Ralf
"He'll eat anything, even your arm if you're not quick enough" Shumy
BMW Berger Butt-Bomb Test
Berger lets rip with a mushroom cloud of a fart
Sorted!
"I still can't believe I'm actually in the team... it's still one big dream...
I have to keep pinching myself thinking I'll wake up... this is so so cool...
just today Eddie said he had a special job just for me... that suited my talents
down to a T... he said it was a very very important job and that the whole team
and race depended on it... so I won't let him down... can't wait to tell my
friends and family... I'm so so proud... I'm on team guard duty... no one, but
no one will get their hands on this shark sticker... well not without a fight"
Kempy falling for it hook, line, sinker and rubber shark
"HA HA! next I'll send him for some elbow grease, then square bubbles for
our spirit levels and later some tartan paint and after some washer holes coz
the ones we got are the wrong shape..." Eddie taking the p*ss as usual
Merde, merde and more merde
"Maybe I should just change my name, after this fiasco I don't even want
to be caught seen with myself"
or,
Prost demonstrates how to drive his cars
"Remember whatever you do boys don't look at the car, and everything will
be just fine"
or,
Prost averts his gaze in fear of being turned to stone by looking at one of
his cars
or,
"Mr Prost can I have your autograph?" Fan
"No! Go away, there is no one here by that name, never heard of the man,
I am someone else" Prost
or,
"Oh God! Todt is coming over, hope he hasn't spotted me"
or,
Prost sports the latest team sunglasses... considering the budget, a hand is
an extravegant and foolish luxury.
My McCar won't start!...
Perhaps McFlat McBattery?
"I keep turning the key and nothing" Mikka
"Oh bloody hell! Quick call the R.A.C. again!" Ron
"Tell them to get me a pizza while they're at it!" Norby
Here comes the Sun...
"You haven't fitted your earplugs tight enough, I can still see sunlight"
You know the position...
At Mclaren some drivers are forced to brown nose way before they even get in
a car
Heinz speaks out on his critics
"Eat me!"
DC falls on hard times...
"Hey buddy can you spare a car?" DC begging for a better drive
Team Banana accidently kick one of their cars over a neigbhour's fence.
"Hey, can I have my car back mister?!"
Team Spot The Dog have grave fashion fears...
"Do you think its a good idea wearing targets on our backs at the Beirut
GP?!"
Sauber test new race winning dinner-tray wing...
They claim it works by making their drivers really really hungry...
"Hey I'm tired of waiting, exactly how long does it take to microwave my
TV dinner?"
...only not as they expected.
Plumbing Problems...
BMW toilet explodes, crowds panic and run for cover as sewage rains down and
causes a total washout.
or,
Williams staff forget to wipe seat after hard days p*ss
or,
Williams toilet backs up and overflows flooding circuit
or,
Monty missed the hole
or,
"Hey who forgot to put the seat back down?!" Monty
or,
"Hey Frank, Monty p*ssed on the floor again!" Ralf
or,
BMW install outside water feature, a tinkle tinkle fountain.
or,
New ingenious Williams two in one, its both a full fuctional outside toilet
and also a mighty fine BBQ... only problem, you really have to be careful what
you put in your mouth at staff BBQs... some people complained their hotdogs
were way underdone, actually they said "What the f*ck is this sh*t?!"
and they weren't too far wrong.
New Technology...
"Ok this is your new invisible pay cheque"
"Er so what does it say?"
"It says f*ck all"
"So I got a rise then?"
"A rise?"
"Yeah, usually I have to pay them"
or,
"See this little crack here"
"Yeah"
"Well if you keep playing with it the same will happen to yours"
or,
"It's genuine alright!"
"Cool"
"See all those little dollar signs?"
"Yup"
"I can stand here for ages just looking at it"
"Can I touch it next?"
"Nope, just look and don't touch"
"Aw!"
"I'm gonna sleep with this under my pillow tonight"
"You're so lucky, its not evey day someone finds one of shumy's visor strips"
"Yup, lets just look at it in awe for a few hours more and hope some of
his skill rubs off"
"Ok"
or,
First team to get to grips with invisible penis technology, what use and relevance
this has to racing god only knows, but Kimi promises to keep an eye on it.
or,
"See you can hold anything up as long as you look as if you're really amazed."
"I see"
"Then some dumb photographer will think we've just come up with something
new"
"yup"
"And then you're all across the sports papers"
"Cool, great when you know how"
