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Australia 2002 Part Three
McBoys talk technical...
"Ok baldy, the next time your car makes me look like a total prat, I'm gonna rip the rest of your hair out!" DC
Jag look for inspiration...
"Do you think someone up there hates us?"
"Nah, I think we should worry about the prats down here first mate!"
The young always get advice from the old...
Whether they like it or not!
"Wear a hat for god sake, that way your brain won't freeze over and you won't talk total crap!" jackie
"You don't say jackie?!" martin
Team banana drivers given invisible helmets...
Well that's what eddie claims, but we all know there really isn't any helmets, just a lying cheapskate!
Stoddart does the rounds...
"Can you spare the price of a cup of tea mate?"
"Nah b*gger off!"
"Can you spare the price of a cup of tea mate?"
"Get a job!"
"Look I said can you spare the price of a cup of tea?! Not give me your f*cking banana!!!"
In a kingdom of the bananaless...
A banana man is Queen... well so he thinks.
"My banana and i..."
McSunday Morning McChores...
McDaddy sends McSon out to mow McLawn for McPocket money!
"He He He this is fun, ooops there goes the McFamily McPet!"
Some McIdiot always has to gatecrash your party...
"Excuse me loser, your sitting in my seat!"
"Yah Ha-Ha! that told him!"
In life there's no free ticket...
"Er what's wrong boss?"
"Well I went begging over at bernie's, and the tight old fart gave me this!"
"What is it?"
"A f*cking IOU for a cup of tea!!!"
In life there's people you hate knocking on your door...
Salesmen, religious fanatics and timewasters...
"Hi, can I interest you in a banana?"
"No! P*ss off!"
Toyota man plays with toycar man...
"So let me get this right, if I push this his arm will move?"
"Yes boss!"
"Great! Now how do I get him to give the finger?"
It's spring and there's love in the hair...
Or lack of it I should say!
"Hey sexy how about a shag?"
"Ok but we got to be careful, last time ron caught me and all hell broke loose!"
Just say McNo...
"Hi I'm a pizza addict, and I'd like to say too many pizzas can really screw you up! The last 3 years have been a total blank and I can barely remember who I am... SH*T just who the f*ck am I????!!!!"
Contractual problems...
"Well you see this clause here labeled "please ignore"... well that where it says we don't have to pay you should you score any points"
"Oh OK, that sounds fair"
"Nah the fair bit is the clause labeled "here be monsters - keep out"... now this beauty says, should you sit in the car for longer than two minutes, then its deemed as a legitimate sale and you owe us 6 million dollars. Plus the more cars you sit in the more we make."
"Cool"
"Then there's this stroke of genius labeled "top secret - for boss eyes only"... which says stoddart owns your soul."
"Great"
"ER you haven't understood a word I've said, have you?"
"3-45pm"
"???!!!"
Banana fans...
Hit by banana plague... symptoms - skins turns black and yellow, tongue swells and sticks out. Also victim has this uncontrollable urge to wear anything that remotely looks like a banana... resulting in an irritating terminal twat.
The brothers daily meeting...
"Hello dear brother"
"Hello dear brother"
"How goes the car?"
"How goes the car?"
"Well well and you?"
"Well well and you?"
"Good"
"Good"
"We must stop meeting like this"
"We must stop meeting like this"
"Yes"
"Yes"
"Same again tomorrow?"
"Same again tomorrow?"
"Sure"
"Sure"
"Ciao"
"Ciao"
Some teams resort to black magic...
"We all have a serious problem with Ferrari beating us with last years car... the shame is just too much to bare." Ron
"We must resort to outside help... I suggest making a pact with the devil!" Ron
"Oh Mr. McDevil I summon thee, McLucifer show thyself, appear!" Ron
"Yeah same as what ron says old McNick, and bring up a couple of burning hot McPizzas while your at it!" Norby
"Wah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!! You called!" nikki laughing demonically
DC ambushed by...
Ex girlfriends!
Minardi celebrations as they score points...
"OK lads lift him up!"
"Wahey! this is cool lads!"
"Yes! we did it!"
"This is just bloody great mate!
"Waltzin minardi! Waltzin minardi! Oh you'll come a waltzin minardi with me!.. "
"Yeah, you keep pouring it and I'll keep drinking it mate!"
"OK lads, who's for a bonus?!"
Someone up in heaven...
Is the biggest tifosi of them all... god. ;)
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